Funny Questions in English?

'English language is really good but when you use it in a wrong way, its hilarious too. So find here some of the best funny questions and have fun.'

Do pilots take crash-courses?

Why do they call it 'chili' if it's hot?

Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?

Does that screwdriver really belong to Phillip?

Why is the third hand on a clock called a second hand?

If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

Which is the noisy word containing three ‘e’s that
signals allergy?

‘A’ is the father of ‘B’. But ‘B’ is not the son of ‘A’.
Then who is ‘B’?

Two children are born of one mother at the same
time and same place, but they are not twins. Then
who are they?

Susan is wiser than Lalitha and Maya is wiser than

Susan. Who is the least wise of the three?

If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?

Does killing time damage eternity?

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

Which travels at greater speed, heat or cold?
Cold because you can catch cold

What month do soldiers hate?
Match (because march means to walk with stiff regular steps like a soldier)

The boy and his girl friend go to the cinema. Where is the boy from?
The giving information and the question have no relationship.

If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing 'Happy Birthday?'

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there?

Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?

If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

Where is the ocean the deepest?
On the bottom.

What is between the sky and earth?
And

What do tigers have that no other animals have?
Baby tigers.

Where does June come before May?
In the dictionary

What comes twice in a moment, once in a minute and never in a hundred years?
the letter M

I found much more good stuff at funny quotes to have really enjoyable time.

Funny English Facts

In Minnesota it is illegal to cross state lines with a duck on your head.

It's impossible to get water out of a rimless tire.

In Indiana it is illegal to ride public transportation for at least 30 minutes after eating garlic.

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

Did you know that you are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider?

A rhinoceros horn is made of compacted hair.

The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.

A polar bear's skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.

Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.

Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump".

If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

China has more English speakers than the United States.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

Vatican City is the smallest country in the world, with a population of 1,000 and a size 108.7 acres.

The longest town name in the world has 167 letters.

You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world.

"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

The longest word in the English language is 1909 letters long and it refers to a distinct part of DNA.

The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one-mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

No president of the United States was an only child.

There's no Betty Rubble in Flintstones Chewable Vitamins.

The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.

The pop you get when you crack your knuckles is actually a bubble of gas bursting.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan (Wendy) are the only two Disney cartoon features with both parents who are present and don't die throughout the movie.

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

Further read funny question.

Funny English Lines

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all?'

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it!

some preety intresting(or not,just unusuall)things:

The venom in a Daddy Longlegs spider is more poisonous than a Black Widow's or a Brown Recluse, but they cannot bite humans because their jaws won't open wide enough.

If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5,000 times, but more like 4950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

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Amusing English Mistakes

Every morning, I get up at 6; clean my tooth
take breakfast; and go to work.

She is are like traveling by bus.

Sir, do you know, how to drive a bike..
He started laughing at me, than told me he told me that we do not drive a bike we ride a bike and drive a car!

I haven't had any male for more than a week!

Can you tell me that is it the last shit of today?

Ruby has a long black hair.
John has short fair hairs.

When I reached my residence, I had a massage on my answering machine!

Read some Funny Questions to make yourself laugh.